A Guilty Pleasure

I hate to admit it but I watch Eastern European Bareback Porn. I know, I know, you think I'm supporting the exploitation of impoverished boys working in an unsafe environment. But I have a different take on things.

You see, awhile back I had the honor of working with EuroCreme Studios in London for their condoms only label, Dream Boy. While there I got to hang out with some of their Czech models from their various bareback divisions and let me tell you, some of those boys LOVE what they do. Don't get me wrong, just like in America theres a great deal of of Euro boys that are just doing it out of a need for money but just like me, there are also Czech studs who do it for the sex. The two boys I spent most of my time in London put my sex drive to shame.

Since then I have been secretly in lust with numerous Czech Porn Stars, who themselves are openly in love with raw cum filled cock and hole. If only I were braver... or more stupid, I'd be in Prague right now getting my hole fucked deep by all these big-dicked Euro boys and letting them cream inside me. But unfortunately OR fortunately, I'm not that daring.

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I'm Not a Role Model

I suck dick for a living... and I love it. I label myself a sex-crazed video slut, some of you claim I'm a porn star, and others call me a diseased whore. Whatever you choose to brand me is fine as long as we make one thing perfectly clear, I am NOT a role model.

I do not lead by example. I do not exemplify what you should be when you grow up. I am not anyone you should aspire to be like or try to emulate. I am in the porn industry, not the sex education business. And although I have made a few statements here and there warning people of the potential dangers that come with certain sexual activities, it is not my place or duty to do so. My job is to give you jack off material, nothing more, nothing less. Just because you see someone else doing something doesn't mean you should do it too.

I live my life according to how I see fit. I try to be cautious most of the time but more often than not temptation gets the best of me and inhibition goes out the window. This may come as no surprise to you but I'm really not smart, just lucky. Honestly I do alot of stupid things. Deeds that would be considered reckless and risky but for some reason or another I have lived through them virtually scot-free (with getting raped as the only exception). Honestly, who would want to follow in my footsteps? Your life is your responsibility. Your choices, your consequences.

Second Star to the Right and Straight on 'til Morning

Words cannot begin to describe the joy I am feeling. I am a diehard Star Trek (The movies) Fan and I will admitt a big reason why I went to go see A Quantum of Solace this past weekend was to watch this trailer on the big screen... Although Daniel Craig and Dame Judi Dench were more than enough to keep me seated afterwards.

Starring my favorite Blind stud, Chris Pine

And my favorite villain Zachary Quinto

Along side the devilishly handsome Karl Urban

The totally adorable and totally fuckable Anton Yelchin

And one of the hottest daddies alive, Eric Bana


Who else is excited???

Bro Dudes

by Noah Kuttler

Well, the cock boss has asked that I address the use of irritating breeder slang by gays. Apparently, a number of you have been referring to each other affectionately or otherwise as “Bro”. I would like to preface this discussion of “why you should probably reconsider your lives” by extending one outstanding exception, which is that if you can get away with calling me Bro in a reassuringly masculine tone with a broad jaw line and a real relaxed look in your eyes, I will blow you whenever and wherever we happen to be. However, I will hate you and myself for it afterwards.

As far as I can tell “bro” among gay men is occurring mostly among the under 21 boys and there various enthusiasts. Let's call them the 20 somethings because most adults don't pay enough attention to the younger gays to notice the slang they are using. Besides occasionally wanting to have sex with you 20 somethings, the rest of us are typically un-phased by your antics. In a culture dominated by porn movies you can’t afford, drugs you can’t afford, clubs you can’t get into, and protests that seem like parties to you, it is simply obvious that you have no real voice. As for you older gays, I won’t define an age for fear of reprisal, but I will say that it only makes sense for you to say bro when you are meeting younger guys. Friends your own age will either be too respectable to be greeted by “Bro”, or you will have known them long enough that you will have some impossibly cuter nickname to use. With that being said, this bro speak is clearly happening in whatever scene that's dominated by the 20 something gays of the moment.

So you are in college or pretending to be, you are hanging out with your impossibly attractive friends, and you casually get someone’s attention by saying bro. Maybe it is a best friend, who is really like a brother and who does not care what you call him. Maybe it is a hag or a beard and you call her bro because you are so desperate to use situation appropriate lingo that you will take any chance, even if that chance is improperly equipped with internal genitals. Whatever the case is, you fail. Bro has no place amongst our people because we see each other as potential vehicles of sexual release and your actual brother is not a potential vehicle for sexual release. Well, if he is you should never admit to it anyway. But you all know this, you know it would be completely bizarre for you to moan out “yeah bro” while you were plowing up some cute farmer’s land, so what could possibly warrant such attachment to the term?

Well according to the Urban Dictionary, the bro is an excessively masculine, steroid pumping, beer drinking jock that is a bit more obsessed with his physical appearance than a heterosexual male should be and calls every guy friend a bro. You can often find bro dudes chasing slutty whores stuffed full of vodka tampons across straight bar scenes and fraternity rows through out America. This definition of a bro is interestingly enough the definition of a very fuckable 20 something gay: muscular, drunk, and a little dumb. AWESOME. So is that it, you say bro to signal that you are fuckable and playing football with your cock while your pecs open beer bottles or something? An unfortunate collision with reality must be just around the corner for the gay-bro-dude then: most of us still listen, taste, feel, and think with our eyes. If you can pull off saying bro because of your attitude and look, you will get laid regardless of your awkward choice of dialogue. If you can’t pull it off but say it anyways, you will be the mean joke I tell the cute guy at the bar so he will think I am witty and have friends. I don’t, but he won’t know that until he fucks me and I leave him 5000 messages and bumper stickers and pokes on Facebook.

The point is that bro only adds an unnecessary element of incestuous thoughts to the discourse, sort of like that Karen from Mean Girls with her cousin, right? I loved Karen, but she was written to be dumb and horny and thus accidentally incestuous. Are you living your life like a Tina Fey joke? To that end, from now on call me something similarly manly without accusing me of having walked the same fallopian tubes as you. Walk up to me and call me mate, bud, or pal. Something as casual as bro and equally friendly and direct. Or, if you are going for that instant blow job thing, walk up to me and say “Hey Wyler, lets get a beer.” I will be so instantly excited thinking I might look like Wyler, or that Wyler might be around, or that you want to do something Wyler-ish to me that I will be ready to go.

Oh So Sinful

I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving. I stuffed myself silly and not in a sexual way this time. To be quite honest, over-eating always leaves me feeling guilty, like the way wild, uninhibited, extramarital, ass-tearing sex should make me feel (it never does). But just like lust, gluttony is also one of the "Seven Deadly Sins", so it makes perfect sense that it leaves a bad aftertaste in my mouth. And that got me thinking, why do all of us sexual "sinners" receive most of the judgment, hate, and ill will while the rest of the bad guys walk free. I mean the other six sins are basically accepted as normal and even encouraged in most of the developed world. Gluttony, Greed, Sloth, Wrath, Envy, and Pride, these are sins too but it's just little old Lust that gets singled out as wrong.

I don't know about you, but I believe the millions of Americans who crowded retail shops this past weekend, displaying our nations obsession with material goods, is just as bad as the Folsom Street Fair, Southern Decadence, or any other gay event where people can be found broadcasting their sexuality to the public. In fact, I don't think public displays of lust ever caused a stampede resulting in a man being trampled to death. Furthermore, unlike Greed, Wrath, Envy, and Pride, Lust never caused an economic recession and it never launched numerous wars killing millions of innocent people.

I also think that being a cock addicted cum slut isn't any worse than being fat, lazy slob. Admittedly, though I don't think I'm any better than a fat kid, I do hope that most of you think I'm at least more attractive than my overweight counterparts. I mean, would you rather watch a chubby guy stuff his face with food or would you rather watch me get stuffed with cock?

In my lifetime I have been guilty of most, if not all of these sins. I have been gluttonous, eating more than I should have during the holidays, knowing that there are millions of people starving. I've been jealous, like when my friend bought a 52 inch 1080p LCD TV while I only have a 42 inch. I have been boastful, like when I thought I was the smartest kid in my 5th grade class. I've been greedy, like when I buy video games behind Marcus's back when we're suppose to be saving. I have been enraged and angered, wishing harm upon others like when I'm stuck in traffic.


And I definitely have been sloth, not living up to my full sexual potential. For example: I've only been gang-banged once and only by 8 guys even though I fantasize about getting gang-fucked by more. I've never been double penetrated even though I think my ass could handle it. I just need to find two dominant guys who can force me to take two dicks in my hole at the same time. I've never had sex in a public place, not even at a gay venue, and not even when offered by hot guys even though I know I'm capable of it.

Of course, Lust is my biggest vice. One that is such a big part of my life that I actually see it as a friend instead of a foe. As crazy as it sounds, I think lust helps me be a better person. Being lustful negates a great deal of my desire for material things. I'd choose cock over a new video game any day. Societies view of my profession and my behavior forces me to be bashful and humble. Even though I talk about sex likes theres no tomorrow, in no way do I think being a slut is anything to be proud of. Giving into my sexual addiction helps me relinquish any anger and rage I may be harboring. Sex therapy works for me. And getting filled with cum alleviates my American tendency to over-eat. I am a cream filled twinky.

Out of the Seven Deadly Sins, Which one is your biggest vice?

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